Every day I see superwomen in my office. I see women who have a demanding career, a busy home life, with or without children, who are also health conscious and trying to make better health decisions. However, a common theme among most of them is a difficulty making time for themselves. One of the biggest protests I hear when I try to encourage my female patients in particular (but this is also true of my male patients) is that they can’t take any time for themselves because they are just too busy. Then they promptly start feeling guilty that they are doing one more thing “wrong”.
This speaks to the enormous amount of pressure that daily American life puts on its workers. Here in the USA, there are on average 10 fewer vacation days than most of the industrialized world (if you have any at all), and we don’t actually take the ones that we are allotted much of the time. When US workers do take vacation days many feel guilty or worried that they will not advance as quickly as other coworkers who aren’t taking them. I’ve also had many patients state that even when they are on vacation they have to continue to keep up with emails remotely or they will be swamped once they return. It’s a culture of overwork and martyrdom.
For women, this extends to their children and their family. Women can’t take time for themselves because they have to make dinner, do the housework and taxi their children to and from more activities than I ever participated in as either a child or adult. This leaves them tired, stressed out, and invariably aggravates an existing health issue or creates a new one.
It doesn’t have to be this way.
It’s okay to say “no.” No, Billy your week is already too full of extracurricular activities, you can take that extra activity over the summer or maybe next term. No, I will not be able to participate in that extra work event or work remotely on my vacation. No, the house will just have to stay dirty for one more afternoon. No, we are getting take out tonight. No, I’m going to take a few hours to myself and draw a bubble bath and read a book or go on a hike or sit and meditate.
For many women this is the first step towards truly feeling better. Not the vitamin D I prescribe or the super cool custom tinctures I make. Just simply saying “no,” and making yourself a priority.